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I can't let go
Sat, 04.12.2010, 02:45:31
Post: #1

I can't let go
I was seeing my guy for nine months. The relationship was going great, there were some small issues, but there was nothing major and we got on like a house on fire. Nothing was easy though, my mom never met him nor let him in the house (she has a fear of men due to past experiences and believes men are out to hurt our family.) Anyways, his mother did not know at all about the relationship. Her views were simple - no dating until you finish university. So we snuck about behind there backs to see each other - but other then wanting to spend more hours with each other there was no concern.

Late July he ends it. It was so out the blue that I was in shock. We had not argued or had any issues between us so I was in agony. My heart torn. I asked him why he ended it and he told me he didn't want me to think it was my fault - which obviously then made me wonder if it was. After some time I finally found out he wanted space.

We remained good friends and carried on as "more then just friends."

However, we were eating in a fast food diner one day and he kissed me, we had sworn to keep this from everyone and thus it shocked me.

I told him I still loved him and he said he felt the same. For the last month we have spent hours together and sometimes I forget we are even seperated.

I asked him why he didn't want to be together if he still loved me - his reply was he doesn't want no big distractions as he is finishing off his A-Levels and hopes to go university.

I am slightly older then him and am off to university in a couple of weeks, I am broken and wish I could still be with him. I feel alone and cry every day because I really thought we would still be together.

I love him and want to be with him, but I know he wants to be 'just friends.' I am confused and cannot let go because he stills says he is in love with me.

Do I wait?

Really need some help :'(

Thanks. x
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Sat, 04.12.2010, 02:48:11
Post: #2

RE: I can't let go
HI there, i too am in a situation like yours. My boyfriend and i are "on a break" but this break doesnt seem to be going any where in either direction. I have no idea what he wants because he some how is always able to avoid the qustion when i ask him. When its just the two of us it feels like were a couple again and he tells me he loves me yet when we see each other out in public he acts like were strangers. I have become to feel he wants to have his cake and eat it.. and by the sounds of it so does your guy. I believe they are confused about what they want but is it really fair to keep a girl waiting like that? we need to decide when its time to move on and let go, iv told my guy im not gonna wait for long and iv told myself that in one month if there is no change then i will move on with my life without him. I stared uni this week and i know it will distract me from this break up and i'm sure you will meet some great new guys too and see hes not the only one out there... Thats what i'm hoping will happen for me anyway!
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Sat, 04.12.2010, 02:50:26
Post: #3

RE: I can't let go
he's tagging you along! thats not fair if he says he wants spare and no distractions for uni, then he shouldnt tell u he loves you or kisses you. thats not fair at all,

you will only hurt your self even more if carry on with this confusing situation!
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Sat, 04.12.2010, 02:54:59
Post: #4

RE: I can't let go
He doesn't want any distractions is Bull S h i t! He is just freeing himself up so he can hook up with other girls. Guys are horny and to be without a GF for sex in uni isn't practical. Sorry but your mom is right. You should have stayed single and casually dated guys instead. Sorry for the heart break.
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Sat, 04.12.2010, 02:59:19
Post: #5

RE: I can't let go
Well I am new to this great exchange and if I may I want to concur with Smackie9. It is very hard to give up a familiar feeling ... especially when it is constantly dangled in front of you. The relationship is then a "Catch Me If You Can" game. You are better then that. If a man loves you he will tear down the sky to be with you. Anything else is just experimentation. Fun? Sure... Feel good? So do illegal drugs until they rob your soul. Keep things in perspective by having your own goals and relentlessly pursue them. The right man will discover you. Good luck.
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